Matthew Woodson Looking for Feedback

Here's a 30 second radio ad sent in by Independent Candidate Matthew Woodson who is looking for a little constructive criticism. Its a 4.8 MB WAV file available here:

Give it a listen, post your feedback in the comments below.

Matthew's details are as follows, please support any and all candidates willing to tackle 9/11 Truth:

Matthew Woodson
Independent Candidate
US House 5th District of Oklahoma

Firstly, please know that

Firstly, please know that this indeed a constructive critque. I do admire your courage.

Secondly, I am a long-time advertising art director and graphic designer who has worked on national accounts.

I think the spot has a strong concept, but tries to cram too much into the space. Not sure what I would cut, but food for thought. Maybe replace the 'no steel towers' part with something shorter about WTC 7 not hit by a plane. I would definately lose the 'www'. Not needed anymore and hard to say. Also, voice seems to trail off toward the end.

I hope you find this useful. Good luck.

i don't really like the

i don't really like the beginning with the children and stuff. it seems as if you're poking fun at 9/11. i think it would be better if it was just you talking about 9/11, the need for a new investigation for respect to those who lost their lives, etc. it seems like you've "dumbed down" 9/11, but i think clear, statements would be better.

It's a little too

It's a little too fast.

People need time to grab a pen.

Also, give the web address at least twice.

I'm not sure I like the kids

I'm not sure I like the kids at the beginning either...

Matt... here are the points

Matt... here are the points I would use, but that's just me.

Click Here

Thanks for the feedback...

Thanks for the feedback...

Don't try to have a fun or

Don't try to have a fun or whacky tone, this is such a serious topic that there's no way for that to work, in my opinion. Jon Gold and others have good suggestions.

It needs to be serious, it

It needs to be serious, it sounds a to stupid. I don't think many people will be receptive to it even though you say, "this is not a game", because that still sounds a bit weak.

Go for being serious and sincere. Not some kind of Alex Jones esq paranoid creepy danger music. But find some strong galvanising music, perhaps even something classical. And word it better to, say something like "the truth about 9/11, is that we still donÂ’t know the truth about 9/11". DonÂ’t go all of telling people the buildings were demo-ed, even if that's what actually happened. It's not subtle or sensitive enough.

I agree with the above

I agree with the above critiques. It's a bit to "marketing" oriented, it needs to convey the gravity of the subject.

Also definitely cut the 'www'. You'll save at least 0.5 sec.

Also what's up with

Also what's up with "Sendmeabuck", I really appreciate your brilliant efforts don't get me wrong here, I’m trying to be constructive. But what about That = much better! “Send me a buck” might make you sound a bit like a street bum or something. Change it to, that would be my advice, and do what Bob Bowman is doing and explicitly say you need as much help financially for the campaign as you possibly can get.

i agree, im totally behind

i agree, im totally behind what your doing, it takes courage to get up in front of a bunch of aspiring politicians and show them a clip of WTC7 and tell them how you really feel about 9/11, but the send me a buck thing has got to be a turn-off for some people.

I agree with everyone

I agree with everyone here.

No "kids" screaming number one is a total turn off.
It isn't a game you are correct in pointing out however with only 27 seconds to fill you have just wasted 15 seconds with screaming kids.
IF you had a infomercial type thing where you have like 2 minutes to make a point then this line of thinking may work.

I would suggest something more on the lines of appealing to people treating them as IF they are intelligent even though we know the vast majority in fact are clueless idiots.
Say something like:

"Are you sick & tired of corrupt politicians? Politicians that are so unscrupulous, so insane & drunk with imperial hubris that they would actually Attack their own country in a false flag operation in order to get YOU the American public to adhere to their insane fascist doctrines out of fear? If you want Answers instead of LIES then go to"

you know... it seems really

you know...

it seems really cool and smart that youre asking for advice...

good tactic for bulletproof strength