The Department of Homeland Security announced Friday that it has developed a new color-coded chart to aide the White House in assessing the threat level of the Democratic Congress. The five categories are intended to help the Leader in evaluating which steps to take next when facing bruising oversight hearings, subpoenas, or leaks of other damaging information. The DHS has declined comment about whether or not the color-coded alert system has already gone into service, but it is certain that its handiness will prove useful once Congressional hearings get started in the coming weeks. The DHS, which takes its orders from the Executive Branch, also has developed new flow chart to help the Leader in the decision-making process, as parter of its larger initiative to protect the vulnerable Unitary Executive from terrorists, enemy combattants or political opponents.

The chart uses five threat levels, much like the chart made in 2002 for the general public after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. The first two levels, green and blue, indicate a minimal threat from Congressional investigations. The yellow level signals that Congressional probes may be hurting the War on Terror, and the orange and red levels alert the Leader to take urgent action to avoid scandal fallout.

Democrats remained ambivalent after hearing of the news. "I don't think that the President really needs to rely on such as system," said Senator Phil Abusder (D-MI). "It won't change the facts uncovered through oversight."