Berkeley Professor develops 'general conspiracy theory of relativity'

As reported in The La Rochelle Times:


Fourth dimension 'face-time' explains complex interactions

Luc Attmi
La Lune de la presse internationale


University of Berkeley Professor Howie Dedett has published what he dubbs a "conspiracy theory of relativity" that seeks to join many conspiracy theories into one unified hypothesis. "By the introduction of a fourth dimension, which I call 'face-time,' to represent key people and their interaction with the timeline, I have solved a number of complex problems," Dedett said on Tuesday.

Using the theory, it becomes much easier to explain events such as Pearl Harbor, the assassination of John F. Kennedy, the Moon Landing, Watergate, the Pentagon Papers, Princess Diana's death, and more recently, the September 11, 2001, terror attacks. Nevertheless, one of theory's major drawbacks is that average people can only see in three dimensions: in this case, motive, means and opportunity. As with any crime, these are the three major elements to consider when trying to solve it.

Prof Dedett, however, uses face-time to enhance the other dimensions, thereby giving plausibility and causality to a more unified theory. Due to information blindness and lack of concentration, most people are not able to envision the fourth dimension of face-time. But what exactly is it? Imagine two people making plans - thus a conspiracy. They have the motive, the means, and the opportunity. Later, at a different point in face-time, another event happens. The same people are involved, and due to the face-time continuum, they can be linked to both events.

He has published his methods in the January edition of The American Heritage Periodical Foundation Society for American Heritage Quarterly. However, Prof Dedett has not been forthcoming as to his input data to test his unified conspiracy theory of relativity. Many peer reviewers are eager to get a chance to analyze the control input values that will serve to bolster the hypothesis.

Some of the output values were surprising. With face-time input equations factored in: Cheney, Bush, Rumsfeld, Kissinger, North, Gates, Kristol, Feith and Wolfowitz were all common derivatives in the equation with the boundaries [1960] and [2005]. The findings will have to be peer-reviewed scientifially before the theory can be officially validated. Different boundaries of face-time will yield different results.

Moreover, Dedett discovered, behavior in face-time becomes unpredictable as one approaches the speed of flight - that at which conspirators flee and which is believed to be unsurpassable. Current calculations put the speed of flight at about 763 feet per second, or roughly the speed of a jumbo-jet. As one approaches flight speed, face-time becomes distorted and it is difficult to discern physical reality. Perceptions of surroundings become severely perturbed; for example, a conspirator fleeing at flight speed would view all other conspirators as fleeing at the same speed, regardless of their actual behavior.

The complexities of the theory are hoped ultimately to be lost in the mainstream press, in order to give way to superficial generalities that will promote the status quo. Even Professor Dedett acknowledged that the general public "just might not be ready to grasp the details of a conspiracy theory of relativity."

PS Thanks to those of you who cross-posted previous LRT articles on your blogs. Merci beaucoup!


Don't forget to carry the one (party).

Speed of Light

1,000 Points of the Speed of Light?

Where's Poppy Bush when you need him?

So all these conspirators can not be seen because they have been conspiring for so long that they have built up a progressive speed relatively equal to the speed of light?

40+ years of wrongdoing and conspiring to do wrongdoing has propelled them to the point of virtual untouchability?

Lying at the speed of light..... broadcasting on every channel around the world.... every moment of every day.

We are just so damn far behind..... I wonder how fast light moves hanging from the end of a rope?

Ignorance is NOT Bliss

towards a real Conspiracy (big C) Theory

It's too bad that the "evolution vs. intelligent design" argument is seen by most people as applicable only to the debate over god.

In fact when you think about it, intelligent design is another way of saying what we mean by conspiracy, sort of. Suppose for example, that your neighbor slipped on some rotting fruit on the public sidewalk under the fruit tree in your yard. Aside form more mundane issues of liability, there is the question--did the rotten fruit he slipped on fall naturally from the tree, or did you, wishing your neighbor ill, lay out some rotten fruit on the sidewalk? Was your neighbor's fall a true accident, part of the natural evolution of nature, i.e. the rotting of the fruit and its falling from the tree, the chance occurence of your neighbor's foot hitting the fruit and slipping out from under him?

Or was their an intelligent designer behind the event, namely you, having previously saved up fruit from the tree, scattered it on the sidewalk, and as your neighbor approached, called to him from your window so that he would avert his eyes just in time to miss spotting the dangerous, slippery fruit?

Did the events of september 11th evolve naturally from our mistreatment of Islamic countries (the blowback/incompetence theory?) Or was there intelligent design driving the evolution of the threat (LIHOP?) Or did the intelligent design extend even farther? Do events in the world unfold of themselves for us to then react to, or do the intelligent designs of certain people maintain an artificial quality to historical developments?

Can anyone really create reality for others? For their children maybe, but for their neighbors? For their country? For the entire world?

If we are to understand reality, is it not of paramount importance to be able to discern "natural" evolution from "intelligent" design by individuals or by "conspiracies" involving multiple individuals?

To these questions we could add--do the media report on reality as it evolves, or are they part of an intelligent design to create reality?


Real Truther a.k.a. Verdadero Verdadero - Harvard Task Force


Which one of these formulas....

....makes 47 steel columns turn into toothpicks?

Oh, I forgot, you need an animation department to do that. I'll phone NOVA.

If not them, I need to find out who (The Neo-Con-staffed Pentagon Office of Special Plans?) generated that convincing cartoon of those luxurious Al Qaeda Afghanistan caves (at 3:48):

Or those scary Iraqi mobile-WMD-lab truck drawings (at 2:39):

Everytime they want to lie to us, they give us a only question is, why hasn't Hanna-Barbara given us their version of Flight 77 hitting the Accounting office at the Pentagon?

That's all, folks...