My Tamale Story

I was at home making tamales recently. While steaming the tamales, I had the flame on my stove set to high, and after about 50 minutes the steel pot with the tamales inside began to melt.

At that point, of course, total collapse was inevitable. Sure enough, I watched as the lid and the tamales fell, causing the rest of the pot and then the entire stove to come straight down at near freefall speed. And, as was to be expected, the pot, the tamales, and the stove were all pulverized into dust, leaving only a tiny pile of rubble no more than a couple of inches high

By the way, later that evening my refrigerator also collapsed into its own footprint at near freefall speed. Even though no tamales were prepared on the refrigerator that day, I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation that doesn't really need any further investigation or analysis.

On a somewhat unrelated note, while cooking the tamales, and before the stove collapsed, I looked out my window and noticed a city bus, wildly off-course, barreling down my street and heading straight for my house. Well, it must have been going really fast, because when it hit my house it was completely vaporized (along with all of its passengers), leaving only a small hole in the side of my house, no more than a couple of inches in diameter. Oh, and a little later another bus and all of its passengers also vaporized in some other neighborhood (I guess that type of thing must be fairly common).

My story was certainly not meant to be disrespectful (quite the opposite). My story was intended to present the "official" story of what happened on 911 in a different context, to illustrate the completely ridiculous and brazenly absurd explanations we have been given, and in most cases accepted. (I must admit I believed the official story for many years.)

I know there will be some people who will point out that my tamale pot was not hit by an airplane, but please remember the Twin Towers were built to specifically withstand multiple commercial airline strikes, and the "official" explanation acknowledges that the primary role of the airplanes was to provide jet fuel to help get the fires started. It also acknowledges that the majority of the jet fuel was burned off in the large fireballs seen exploding outside of the towers immediately after impact, and it was the subsequent office fires that melted or weakened the steel which led to the total collapse. And of course no airplane hit WTC7

I know the media did not concoct these offensively illogical stories, but it seems the media have fallen prey to simply reporting WHATEVER story is handed to them, without doing any type of research to corroborate the facts. So perhaps the traditional media outlets have ceased to be the optimal source for obtaining unbiased stories based on facts and subservient to nothing but the cold hard truth. Although it certainly has been interesting (albeit somewhat disturbing) to observe the power and influence the media has on what we believe and what we're willing to accept as the truth.

The preceding is the "Official" Tamale story, endorsed by the US Government, NIST, FEMA, The Tamale Commission, and independently corroborated through extensive research by the highly esteemed and preeminent leaders in the fields of Science and Physics: the editors of GQ, Popular Mechanics, and Guitar Player Magazines. (Therefore, this HAS to be true, and anyone who questions the validity of this story is un-American and a conspiracy theorist).

If you say you believe the official story of 911, as put forth by the US Government, then you MUST accept as true the fundamental and requisite foundation of that story - the 19 fanatically religious, Muslim hijackers. Because without the 19 hijackers, nothing happens on 911 correct? (no planes fly into buildings, no buildings collapse, and most importantly, no one dies).

So then the question becomes, do you really believe 19 hijackers, who were unable to fly a single engine Cessna, and who were seen gambling in Vegas, frequenting strip clubs, hanging out in bars, drinking vodka, snorting cocaine, and living with strippers in the days, weeks, and months prior to 911 were really devout Muslim zealots on a suicide mission and responsible for the attacks? All because they hated our freedoms? Really? Oh, and several of those 19 hijackers are still alive (perhaps we're supposed to believe they're vampires or pirates)

Unless you somehow believe that part of the story, then you have to recognize that the official story is blatantly false, because without that part of the story, nothing else happens.

Sometimes the eyes refuse to see
what the heart and mind refuse to believe


A pretty tasty story.

Maybe it will hit people where they feel it most.

More crazy truther talk ;-)

Obviously the weight of the lid was enough to crush the pot like a pile driver. Popular Mechanics interviewed experts and explained the collapse a long time ago. You crazy-bat-nut truthers just cherry-pick whatever fits the story you want to believe. Go take your meds and let the adults handle this.

[Don't get me wrong, this post was meant to be ludicrous.]